I’ve been studying human nature for 40 years, trying all the while to mold my life according to what I’ve been learning. I’m organizing what I’ve learned around five areas (or values) that define my life, and I’m adding as addenda brief comments on money and behavior/mood modification drugs.
My body and its care take precedence over everything else. Proper sleep (6-7 hours at night and 30 minutes in late afternoon), healthy food (no processed/fast food, MSG, sugar, aspartame, or caffeine; little meat and fish; lots of water, fruit, veggies, grains, and legumes in 6 small meals), and exercise (an hour a day) create and maintain a healthy body. I do these things or I pay with assorted pains, sicknesses, moodiness, depression, anxiety, fatigue.
The following items are equal in importance, often overlapping each other.
My job consumes more time than anything else I do. Do I have a perfect job? No way! Human beings are so complex, talented, and changeable that no job satisfies completely. I make peace with the inadequacy of my job to meet all my needs by focusing on two job characteristics: personal growth and service to others. Learning new things and helping other people make the job I do meaningful and satisfying. Either I do it this way or I pay for it with boredom, alienation, anomie, and, yes, assorted pains, sicknesses, moodiness, depression, anxiety, fatigue.
My family and friends make up the mini-world in which I live. With them, I laugh and cry, play and pray, work and exercise, fart and burp, gossip and dream, really, everything. One time, I lived in a foreign country for five months away from family and friends, and I lost 20 pounds, felt alienated, and experienced, yes, sicknesses, moodiness, depression, anxiety, fatigue. I flew back to the United States, married Kathy, brought her with me to Paris, and vowed never to leave her or my family behind again.
Play rejuvenates the body, evaporates stress, buoys the spirit, strengthens friendships, bonds family members, and just plain makes life a whole lot of fun. I play ping pong, sail, walk in the woods, jump in piles of autumn leaves with Kathy, wrestle with the grandkids, ride my bike, swim, fish, roller blade, ice skate, ski, garden, make music on my recorder, paint, woodwork, kayak, let’s see, how much can I write before I overload Blackboard? Without play, I experience, yes, assorted pains, sicknesses, moodiness, depression, anxiety, fatigue.
Leisure is the way I prefer to talk about my spirituality, that is, my connection to a transcendental being, to the spiritual in nature, to the divine in people, to love and forgiveness, to hope in the midst of evil and suffering, to humility amidst accomplishment, and to the dignity of my last breath. Sometimes the rituals of religion help a lot, while other times a pink-orange-yellow sun dropping behind a hill does it. But I’ve learned that transcendence is not interested in catching up to me when I’m cruising at 80mph in my Honda, or when I’m double-stepping up stairs to make a meeting. Leisure is key here. I need to breathe deeply, loosen the mind, let go of hurts, take the shutters off my senses, and let it all come in. It’s there around me all the time, but I’m often too busy to see it and to let it all in. Without leisure, guess what? That’s right, say hello to the assorted pains, sicknesses, moodiness, depression, anxiety, fatigue.
Okay, so why the repetition of “assorted pains, sicknesses, moodiness, depression, anxiety, fatigue”? They are human nature’s kick-in-the-derriere to tell us that we’re pursuing an unhealthy lifestyle. Changes need to be made. The problem is: to what? That’s why we need to develop the habit of self-reflection on our nature and how we’re living it hour by hour. It’s frustrating on occasion, but, really, shouldn’t we be thankful that our nature has a built-in early warning system before it self-destructs?
ADDENDA
Some brief comments on money and behavior/mood modification drugs.
Money. Do you have money worries? Did you know that money concerns can break up marriages and families, drive people into depression, and in some instances lead to suicide? Money worries and their poisons have always scared me, so I developed a simple money philosophy: Spend less than what I earn, and pay cash. End of worry.
Behavior/Mood modification drugs. Are you taking anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs without psychological counseling? Did you know that these drugs address symptoms, whereas the counseling addresses root causes? Leave out the counseling, and you are condemning yourself to a life of emotional suffering.
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